How to stop blaming ourselves for past mistakes and powerfully create our life in the now
At every moment in our lives, we are exactly where we are supposed to be. We are creating so much suffering within us, simply by believing, something is wrong in our lives. We make wrong choices and we are making wrong choices. We should be somewhere else, with someone else.
The story we tell ourselves about our past, influences our now. The story we tell ourselves, about our future, influences our now. Yet the „now“ is the only life we have. Our „life“ is an accumulation of nows. So why suffer in the now, because of things we did in the past? Why suffer in the now, because of things we want to have different in the future?
Blaming. Blaming for what we „should have“ done different. Our souls are on a journey. They don’t care about the „should have“ because every moment, be it negative or positive, is valuable to them. It is a moment of experience and believe it or not, the experience is all that counts. It really is. You are having this particular experience right now, because you want to experience it. Because there is a gold nugget in there. Always. And if you are in a very dark place right now and you go „thank you Sonia, you wouldn’t want to be where I am right now“ – remember – the gold nugget might be in seeing the situation you are in right now as something that you do not want. In feeling the suffering and realising: „Hang on, this feels horrible - what can I do different? How do I want to feel instead? What can I change right now, in this moment, to change this situation around?“, you are able to take action and move forward.
This process of self-inquiry and following a conscious action, can only start, when we are in a place of acceptance and stop the blaming. We are perfect the way we are and our choices are perfect. The choices in the past were perfect as well, otherwise, we would not have done them.
Acceptance. Everything that is in this moment, is here for us to experience something. To experience life. We might experience true bliss for the first time. We might experience complete heartbreak for the first time. All of it is life. All of it is in our souls perspective, equally valuable. There is no negative and positive and there is no such thing as wrong choices.
If we continue to blame ourselves and or others for things that have happened in the past, we continue to ignore the present moment. And we are not living. We are waisting moments in the now for the past or for the future. This is the only real suffering for our soul. When we are not living the experience. When we let our thoughts create a world that is not happening in the now. And the soul struggles more and more to shine through and experience this life. Experience it raw and authentically, in the moment.
I know how easy it is to live in the past or the future. For all of us. That’s why I am writing this. For a little reminder. Because it is just as easy to live in the now. We just need to start with awareness and.... courage. It takes a lot more courage to live in the now than anything else. Life is ACTUALLY happening in the now and for a lot of us, this can be an extremely scary thing. We start to feel all sort of things that we rather not feel. That we are not familiar with.
We are creators. But we only create in the now. I invite you, to start to notice small moments of distraction, moments, when your thoughts are in the past or the future. Recognize them as „thoughts“, then draw your attention shortly to your breathing. You can do this in any moment, in any space. No one will notice that you are actively stopping your thoughts for a short moment, concentrate on your breathing and grounding yourself in the now. You are immensely powerful in the now. Start doing this for short moments every day of your life. Just short moments are enough. And after a while, those moments become longer and longer, until, one day, you are living continuously in the now.